Sweet dreams

Dear Addie,

When we started cosleeping I ditched my pillow since it wasn't safe for you. I also ended up in pain from the lack of support, so I ended up finding a small travel pillow. It's about 12"x18". I am now so accustomed to using it that its my favorite pillow. But you have also used it, and I think it's your favorite too :).

Last night you weren't really using it, so I stole it and got comfy on it. My alarm went off, and as I rolled back over from hitting the snooze button, there you were- you had been sharing my tiny pillow with me the whole time :).

It made my morning.

Love you so much!
Mama

Ella Fitzgerald and a Gershwin Tune

Dear Addie,

Somehow the tune, "Someone to Watch Over Me" came up in my brain.  My first association with this tune is that it reminds me of my grandmother (dad's mom).  There's a baby video of ME out there somewhere that my dad dubbed over with that tune.  In the video my grandma is holding me and smiling and waving, and I'm maybe 2 or 3 in the video.  I seem fairly happy.

So it came up, and it brought back happy memories, so I looked up the lyrics so I could sing along...

But then I was disappointed.  How can a song so beautiful and lovely be about finding a man to "watch over me?"  I can watch over myself, thank you very much!!  OK, OK, so I understand it was the time period in which the song was written.

But even today, some music implies that life revolves around finding "the one."  And while I agree that, should you choose to find "the one," that it IS important, and a warm, fulfilling part of life, finding "the one" isn't a reason in and of itself for existence.  Finding "the one" isn't life's only goal, and nobody should be bound to the idea that if they don't find "the one" that life will not be fulfilling.

Finding "the one" may be something that happens, but it shouldn't define you.  No person should let the pursuit of another in love (or lust) rule their lives, nor should one alter their heartfelt hopes and dreams to "fit" with the person they perceive to be "the one."  The truly right "one" will find a way to make the heartfelt hopes and dreams of the duo come true simultaneously.

So, my sweet Addie, you don't need someone to watch over you.  When the time comes for you to explore the idea of "the one," you need someone who values you, your opinion, and your hopes and dreams.  Let Ella Fitzgerald's wonderfully sung song be a reminder of the past, and not an indication of the future, or something to long for.

Love you!
Mama

PS: You can still listen to the song if you want to.  But if you want a sappy romantic Ella Fitzgerald song, try "Dream a Little Dream" instead.

Na-Na

Dear Addie,

It has been a while since I have written! You have kept me busy, between cutting 3 molars at the same time, learning new words, wanting to play hockey, and nursing all the time, writing has fallen by the wayside.

You continue to amaze me with your words, your play, your dancing, and your approach to life. You are not a dainty child. You are headstrong and go after whatever it is you want. Your greatest enemies are fatigue and boredom.

You also love hockey, Minnie Mouse, birds, dogs (and animals in general), Elmo, peas, cheese, and apples. Your brother brings you the biggest smile, and cuddling up with me for a close, cuddly nursing session brings you comfort, relaxation, and security.

While I tire of pumping at work to keep my supply up, and there are definitely days that I wish I could just lay you down in your own bed to sleep (like daddy does) instead of nursing you to sleep, I love the fact that we are still nursing. It's my favorite time of day- when you just cuddle in, latch on, and the world is instantly a better place for you.

And you seem to like it too :). You ask for "Na-Na" frequently, especially when you're tired, in an unfamiliar place, upset, and thirsty. When I'm not around, you ask for "moke" out of your sippy-cup (which is the only reason I still pump!). When you wake up at night upset and scared, you ask for na-na. And when I come home from work late, after you have been asleep, you always seem to know when I come up to bed, because you climb into the big bed, still half asleep, and you nurse. And this is my favorite part- you take your hand and stroke my chest very gently while you cuddle up right in and nurse.

I wish more moms felt supported through toddler nursing. And I'm glad I found the support I have had to keep nursing you.

It works for us. It's nice. And I think we both enjoy it :).

I will keep nursing you as long as you need, Addie. It's our special time.

Love you,
Mama