Mama!

Dear Addie,

I spent the past 20 minutes or so looking back at all the photos of you on my facebook page.  And then I kept going back, and looked all the way back to photos from 2007.  It was fun, and I'm absolutely amazed at how much you have grown up.  Your face has gone through phases of rounding out and then thinning out, you've learned to take steps, and learned to run, and learned to talk a little bit.

Yesterday you looked at me and said "mama."  Even though you've known and been able to say mama for a while, it was really the first time that you said it to me and meant "mom."  You said mamamama, and you would come to me when daddy told you to "go to mama," but you never said it directly to me. You've said "dada" for a while now, and the first question you ask me every morning is "whe dada?" You run around the house looking for "dada."  But you never run around the house looking for mama...

I'm really glad you now know me as mama,  and not just the lady with the "na-na's."  See, a few days ago at daycare, when I came to pick you up, I said, "give mama a kiss" and you leaned over and kissed Ms. April.  Then I said it again, "give mama a kiss!" and you kissed Ms. April again... I get it-- her two kiddos call her mama, or mom, so that's what you hear.  Owen doesn't call me mom, he calls me Erin, so I can see how it would be confusing.  Nobody regularly calls me mama!

I gotta say, though, it stung a little on the inside.  I want do and be everything for you, but it's not possible, and I will always have a little bit of mommy-guilt for leaving you at daycare to go to work.  I can guarantee you that I would also feel guilty staying home, and even after considering and reconsidering, me working is best for all of us.  I get that.

But I'M your mama!!  And the emotional side of me just wanted to cry when I realized that you associated mama with Ms. April.  The mommy-guilt came front and center, and I was so sad.

So thanks for figuring out that I'm mama.  My mommy-guilt can get tucked back away for awhile longer, and I can not worry so much about the emotional damage that I  might be causing you by leaving you at daycare...

Love you sweet pea!
Mama :)

She Speaks!

Dear Addie,

Today is New Year's Day!  The first thing that you heard this morning (aside from my snoring) was "This is going to be an awesome year!"

And it is!  Because you are in my life, and that is awesome.

More importantly, you are talking!  Well, not in full sentences, but you are growing your vocabulary on a daily basis :).  This morning you asked, "Where dada?" Then you asked, "Na-na," so we nursed and cuddled.    Then you said good morning to "Gook" (Luke the dog).  After that we changed the diaper because you went "pee-pee" and then went downstairs, where you warned me my coffee was "daht."  You walked over to your high-chair and said "MMM" because you were hungry for breakfast.  When you finished up your craisins you said "moh" and I got you more.  After you finished I took you out of your seat and we played the animal sounds game on my phone.  Your favorite right now is "Cukoo" which you say with remarkable accuracy, and you like "Dat" (Cat, with emphasis on the T).  You asked me to pick you "up." And now you're sitting in my lap as I type this.

You also ask "wha da?" "Whe da" and "wo da", which I'm pretty sure is "what's that, who's that, and where's that", but you use them all interchangably, so we're still working on that.

You also love "ball", "Owah," "chis" (cheese), beebee (baby), and you just now said "animaw" for animals on my phone.  You babble like crazy, and i'm pretty sure you know more words that I just haven't figured out yet.

You're amazing.  Curious, bouncy, energetic, and happy 90% of the time.  You wake up happy (when you've had enough sleep, anyway), and you have the brightest smile.  So Addie, don't ever stop being you.  I love your personality and your curiosity.  Keep being you, and you will keep being awesome.

Love you forever baby!
-Mama