Diaper!

Dear Addie,

Ever since the new little baby (7 mos or so) made her appearance at day-care, you have been so excited to play with your baby doll.  You push her around in the stroller, cuddle her, and carry her around.

And last night I couldn't understand why you were so adimate to get wipes out of your wipe container.  You got a couple wipes, then you took your baby doll, tried several times to lay her on a chair (which didn't work), then moved her to the couch where we change your diaper.  Then you moved her little legs up out of the way, lifted her dress, and started wiping her!  You wanted to change your baby's diaper.

It was adorable.  Addie girl, you were so gentle and sweet!  I grabbed one of your cloth diapers that's too small, and we put it on your baby.  You were SO excited! You took your baby right over to the stroller and plopped her in.  And then (this is what gets me), you straightened her dress out and rubbed your hand on her tummy, just like I do to you.

Then you went on your usual tear through the house with the stroller.

It was so sweet to see you so gentle.  My beautiful girl- you are already gentle and kind to your baby.  One day (if you choose), you will see what it's like to have a real baby, and that gentle, kind instinct will rush it's way back in.  Should you choose to have a baby or two, you will be an amazing mama.

Love you my girl,
Mama

Love you

Dear Addie,

I love you.

I love your words- the sweet sound of your little voice making new sounds.

I love your hugs.  When you give hugs it's not just one hug, it's a hug for me, and one for everyone else in the room, and then back to me again.

I love your kisses.  I love how you spontaneously decide to pucker up, and again- it's never just a kiss for me.  It's a kiss for me and for everyone else in the room.

I love your smile- it's infectious with your toothy little grin, dimples, and crinkly nose and eyes.  Nobody can be sad after seeing your beautiful smiling face.

I love how you call me "mah-mah."  It warms my heart to hear your little voice calling me.

I love watching you play with your brother.  Nobody can get a bigger smile out of you.  I love how your whole body reacts to seeing him- your fists clench up, your arms tense, even your toes curl up as you shriek in excitement and yell, "OWAH!" Then you want to wriggle out of my arms to go hug him and play.

I love how you make yourself burp so you can say "excuse me" (more like "eh-skoos-oh-me").

I love watching you interact with the other littles at day care.  You alyways want "may-may" to come sit with you.

I wish that I could spend more time with you.  I would love to spend every waking moment with you, and sleeping too, for that matter, but I want to provide you with a carefree childhood and pay for your college. So to do that, I work.  You seem to be doing OK with it, though, which makes me happy.

I wish I could not get frustrated when you want to nurse incessantly.  It was more or less what I expected when you were a newborn, but hours of nursing now leads me to frustration.  I'm sorry for that.

I wish that I could find a way to give you self confidence and self respect, comfort in your own skin, and the ability to communicate without you having to spend the time to figure it out yourself.  Learning "life skills" like leading, communicating, and self confidence take time and mistakes, which sometimes aren't fun.  But I hope that the way I handle life in general helps you!

I'm sorry for when I yell, I'm sorry for when I put my frustration and own needs before yours.  I wish I could be perfect, but I know I'm not, so I will apologize to you when I screw up.

I love you my angel!
Mama