Love you

Dear Addie,

I love you.

I love your words- the sweet sound of your little voice making new sounds.

I love your hugs.  When you give hugs it's not just one hug, it's a hug for me, and one for everyone else in the room, and then back to me again.

I love your kisses.  I love how you spontaneously decide to pucker up, and again- it's never just a kiss for me.  It's a kiss for me and for everyone else in the room.

I love your smile- it's infectious with your toothy little grin, dimples, and crinkly nose and eyes.  Nobody can be sad after seeing your beautiful smiling face.

I love how you call me "mah-mah."  It warms my heart to hear your little voice calling me.

I love watching you play with your brother.  Nobody can get a bigger smile out of you.  I love how your whole body reacts to seeing him- your fists clench up, your arms tense, even your toes curl up as you shriek in excitement and yell, "OWAH!" Then you want to wriggle out of my arms to go hug him and play.

I love how you make yourself burp so you can say "excuse me" (more like "eh-skoos-oh-me").

I love watching you interact with the other littles at day care.  You alyways want "may-may" to come sit with you.

I wish that I could spend more time with you.  I would love to spend every waking moment with you, and sleeping too, for that matter, but I want to provide you with a carefree childhood and pay for your college. So to do that, I work.  You seem to be doing OK with it, though, which makes me happy.

I wish I could not get frustrated when you want to nurse incessantly.  It was more or less what I expected when you were a newborn, but hours of nursing now leads me to frustration.  I'm sorry for that.

I wish that I could find a way to give you self confidence and self respect, comfort in your own skin, and the ability to communicate without you having to spend the time to figure it out yourself.  Learning "life skills" like leading, communicating, and self confidence take time and mistakes, which sometimes aren't fun.  But I hope that the way I handle life in general helps you!

I'm sorry for when I yell, I'm sorry for when I put my frustration and own needs before yours.  I wish I could be perfect, but I know I'm not, so I will apologize to you when I screw up.

I love you my angel!
Mama